A Tradition Unlike Any Other

Ahhh...The Masters...

Every year, so many people - including people who do not even enjoy the game of golf flock to Augusta or to their devices to watch The Masters.  All of us are glued to the leaderboard and featured groups like we are actually going to share some of the winnings.  The beauty of the course and the traditions of the tournament are unparalleled. The history that it has created and celebrated is incredible. It has sucked patrons in for decades, but it is so much more than a golf tournament; it is truly, "A tradition unlike any other." - Jim Nantz

The Masters is an experience that you share.  It is discussed in families, friend groups, amongst coworkers, and even strangers you run across this special week in public.  Watch parties are held.  Traditional Masters food and drinks are consumed.  Certain golf attire is worn.  Everyone critiques the Champion's Dinner menu.  Everyone picks a favorite to win, and of course an underdog.  It's a priority and a way of life for that special week of April each year.  

Sunday at The Masters is even more special.  It's unexplainable, but it draws you in and you are unable to look away.  Friends and families watch, cheer, and hang on by the moment to see who are the current leaders and how many strokes behind their favorite(s) are from the top.  It's an all day affair, as we wait with anticipation and excitement to see who will don the Green Jacket, and we would not want it any other way. 

The Masters is so much more than all of that to many of us, including myself.  It is a connection to memories, people, and nostalgia that is unmatched.  

My dad loved golf and was an avid golfer, but there was absolutely nothing in his mind that compared to The Masters.  As a child, I remember my parents going to the tournament and coming back to tell us all about it.  The excitement on their faces was not something that can be described.  As time passed, and passes were harder to come by, we settled for watching it on the TV.  We would all settle in and make it a family event, especially on Sunday.  Even when I moved out and got married, we were home for Sunday at The Masters.

My dad would comment on nearly every lie, every shot, every putt, and of course...every outfit.  He would explain to my brother and I why certain clubs were chosen, or why they would choose to lay up.  He would share what that hole looked like in person and who he and my mother had seen play it.  The sheer joy on his face when watching and talking about his times there is something I will never forget.  He always had comments on who he would want to win, and let's be clear...those who he did NOT want to win either.  His opinions were just as loud as his cheers.  He would be so incredibly happy for those who were playing and his reactions when they would sink a putt or hit a lengthy drive would be as though he had done it himself.  Even through the years when he was battling cancer, the family watching Sunday at The Masters and the sheer joy of it never wavered.  I can only imagine the comments he would make now about the new technologies, graphics, and golfers.  Each year, we talk about his advice and thoughts he would have on The Masters.  Each year, I miss him more and more but feel so connected to him as we watch. I am forever grateful for those experiences, memories, and what The Masters is and has taught me via my and about my dad.

• Golf can be your happy place - it was for him, and it is for many others.
• Much of life is a game of inches, always measure twice.
• Perspective is everything, always look at your lie/pin placement or things in life in different ways before making a final decision
• Patience is a virtue.  Always.
• You may play great on some holes and not so great on others; just like days of life, but you can bounce back.
• Everything is a journey, just like the course.  One swing, one putt, one hole at a time. 
• True beauty transcends time.  Augusta will always be beautiful, and true inner beauty is the same.
• Go!  Even if you think you can't - if you are given the opportunity to go to The Masters - you MUST go.  Just like life - seize opportunities and do not let them pass you by.
• Everyone is different and succeeds in different ways.  Masters outfits are different, people's swings are different, people's clubs are different - but they find ways to succeed - that's how life is as well.
• Celebrate others and have fun.  Not every day is your day to win, but every day is a day to celebrate and enjoy life.  
• Be YOU!  Wear your outfit.  Represent yourself.  Put on your flip flops as soon as you sink your last putt.  Be who you are and do not apologize for it.
• Tradition is important.  Embrace it.

All of these things and more make me grateful for The Masters.  It allowed me to see such a joyful side of my daddy.  It made me want to play golf with my parents, which let me see their relationship in a different light.  It made me interested in watching him play golf which gave me the opportunity to see my dad be truly successful at something he enjoyed, not just work.  It made our family spend time together; not only watching The Masters, but then playing golf, as though one of us would one day be there.  

The Masters creates memories and fosters relationships.  The Masters engages generations of people in the game of golf.  The Masters celebrates the beauty of the South.  The Masters celebrates tradition and history.  The Masters merges days of old with new technologies. The Masters is something special. It truly is a tradition unlike any other.

Quiet please! Now driving, Bobby Sargent.

Band-Aids

I have sat down to write this numerous times over the past 15 years. Each time the words either would not come, or they came in ways that created chaos or emotion that had to be dealt with immediately. Today is it, I'm writing about what changed my life forever.

"The world likes to whisper into our ear that time is the healer of our wounds, but time is not a true healer. It simply creates distance between us and the source of our pain. Time is a Band-Aid that covers our aches from sight." 

Love Him Anyway by Abby Banks

People always talk about events or things in their lives that made time stand still and until that happens to you, you think that they are crazy or that feeling could not happen; but it can. 

In December of 2005, my world stood still for seemingly a 3 day period. Three days that felt like an eternity and also like the blink of an eye at the same time; both living through it and reflecting upon it. 

A typical Friday morning started with a text and then a call, wondering if I had heard from Taylor.  More calls came in and all of us connected to look for him and try to get in touch with him.  Of course, him not being able to be contacted was not unusual, but today it was different.  

When the phone rang I knew it was not good. I had that gut instinct, I just knew. I knew that one of my greatest fears had happened. He was gone. Truly gone. Not missing. Not out somewhere that we weren't sure where he was. Gone. Nothing prepares you for gone. Nothing prepares you for finality. Nothing prepares you to literally change your clothes and go handle a situation that rips you to the core, but you just do it.

I threw clothes in a bag, got in the car with Jeffrey and headed home.  A two hour drive that felt like a flash but also like we would never get there.  How do you get your thoughts together when you know that you are going home to find and that it is not good?  What would I tell my parents?  How would we handle everything?  What exactly were we going to find and need to deal with?  I talked incessantly and then was quiet.  I jammed music.  I sat in silence.  I was freezing.  I was sweating.  Jeffrey held my hand as I drove too fast and then too slow, and then fast again.  The closer we got to home, the more anxious I got as I was truly unsure as to what would happen next; all the while knowing that it had to be done and that being strong for all involved was what I would do.  

As I turned on my parents, road, my entire body filled with heartache and dread and sadness.  I did not know exactly what I was about to face, but I knew it was not going to be good.  Long before we got to their house, we began to see cars lining both sides of the road leading to my parents' home.  As I approached the driveway, I could see cars covering the yard and down the street past the house, but the driveway was clear for me to come home.  

The driveway and backyard were filled with people.  People I knew, people I loved, people who loved us, people I did not know.  It was as though they were everywhere.  I drew in a deep breath, Jeffrey squeezed my hand, and I opened the car door.  All eyes were on me.  Nobody said a word, only looked at me with tears and sadness in their eyes.  I walked through the crowd and opened the back door.

Once I opened the door, the same was true inside as it was outside, people were everywhere and they were all looking at me, expectantly yet silent.  I simply said something like, "Thank you all for coming."  I looked around to see heads nodding, simply acknowledging what I said.  Again, everyone moved out of the way as I made my way to the bedroom to face my parents.  

Both of their heads turned to meet mine, waiting to see what I would say.  I met both of their stares letting them know what we all knew, that he was gone...dead.  My affirmation led them both to giving in to sobs and squeals and head shakes and quivering and shouting and convulsing; joined by the other close family that was in the room.  I explained that we were simply waiting on the police to come and confirm exactly how.  

My thoughts were everywhere, as they had been since we could not get in touch with him that morning.  Where was he?  What was he doing?  Who was he with?  What had he gotten into this time?  How did this happen?  How did it play out?  Where was he now?  All of these questions would be answered, at least in part, as soon as the detectives came in.

It felt like forever, but finally the police and detective came and we ushered them in to the bedroom where the close family waited.  The main detective was a close friend to some of our family, and when his 6' 4" 300 plus burly frame entered sobbing, we all knew it was even worse than we expected.  Hands were held, arms were around each other, tears streaming down faces waiting to hear the verdict.

Suicide.  

The room was silent.  He explained that he had been out with a friend hunting that morning and committed suicide...in the woods...with a shotgun.  Still...silence.  I immediately thanked him for the information and for his handling of the situation and he explained what we must do next; many things that none of us wanted to do but had to do.  The officers and detective hugged the family, shared condolences and left to finish up the paperwork and investigation.  

My thoughts were reeling, but there was not time for thinking, only reacting and handling things.  I went out to where everyone was as they waited for me to share what we knew.  Nobody was looking at me, everyone had their head down.  I told them exactly what the police told us.  Gasps, sobs, screams.  It was absolutely horrible.  Looking at people who I knew loved us, loved Taylor, and to see them hurt like that was absolutely gut wrenching.  My parents and family finally emerged from the bedroom, and everyone swarmed with hugs and "I love you's" and "I'm so sorry's."  

The next morning started bright and early.  People were there when I woke up with breakfast and paper products and flowers and willing to do whatever they could to help or support.  I began to dole out what needed to be done and handling funeral arrangements, body identification, obituary writing, death certificates, getting and going through his vehicle, still dealing with the police, and whatever else came up.  The back door to our house was like a revolving door, and yes I said back door, nobody ever comes to Momma and Daddy's back door - everyone is family.  

Sunday was the funeral.  Graveside only and we rode in our own cars because we were and are simple people who love each other.  On the drive, I tried to keep my parents calm enough to remain stable and we made it.  As we drove down the four-lane to the funeral home, the same scene appeared - cars as far as we could see.  It was unlike anything I have ever experienced.  I got out, opened the doors to get my parents out, hugged them both and grabbed Jeffrey's hand.  We headed to the graveside, one that I could literally not see due to the sea of people.  The funeral home attendants made them create an opening so we could walk through, and as we did, I looked around to see people who I had no idea cared or loved us like they did.  It was so completely endearing and sad all at the same time.  

The service was beautiful and everything was as perfect as possible for a human that was larger than life and loved by literally all walks of life.  Many people even went to the "alter" at the end of the service to get their lives right.  It wasn't lost on me that Big Tate was changing and impacting lives even in death.  We stood there, for hours, hugging and talking to everyone who came and wanted to speak to us.  The overwhelming outpouring of love was something that has forever changed my life.  Even in our hardest moments, our people were and are there.  Still, today, people text me on this date to share their love and their memories of Big Tate and those people are some of the best people on Earth.  

As we rode away from the service, so many things stuck with me about Taylor/Big Tate and about life and people in general.  My mind skipped from one thought to the other, but the mainly I continued to think about how incredibly blessed we were - even in such a horrible time.  Life is incredibly short, so make the most of it.  Make memories.  Take pictures.  Love people.  Laugh.  Do not wait for tomorrow.

As the quote that I started with this implies - my wounds are not healed - but there are Band-Aids on them.  Those Band-Aids come in the form of people, kind words, a text to check on you, the people who were there the night we pulled up, the prayers, the "I love you's," the smiles, the encouragement, the people who love us, and many other ways.  Don't forget to realize your Band-Aids.  I am incredibly thankful for mine, for without them, I wouldn't have made it!

Now:

I can't write this without describing who Taylor was...

Taylor was one of the kindest, most gentle souls I have ever known.  His heart was bigger than life and he absolutely adored people and made everyone laugh and feel like they were the best person.  Taylor always had a smile, and a dip cup, Birkenstocks, and Doc Martens.  He was an incredible athlete, and I can't imagine how good he would have been if he would have even tried when he should have.  Ha.  He would give you the shirt off of his back or get drunk with you and reminisce on the best times.  He absolutely loved his family and friends.  He was the person that so many of us wanted to be.  He was the kid who made jokes, but spoke to everyone in the room.  He got along with everyone - for the most part.  He was a Clemson Tiger - mainly to spite my parents I think.  He loved Slim Jims, his black leather coat, and of course - the Wildcats.  He was the #59. He was my brother, my best friend.  We made some horrible decisions and we made some of the best memories.  He took care of me and watched out for me and anyone else who needed it.  His spirit is one that I literally can't put in to words, he was an incredible person. He impacted everyone he ever met in some way and I do not think he ever knew that or realized the impact he had on others.  I always tried to encourage him to see himself as others saw him...I hope that at some point he did...

I see him at Wilson-Campbell Stadium.

I see him on Kate Fowler Road.

I see him on the South Carolina beaches.

I see him in every 1995 White Jeep Cherokee.

I smell him in every can of Skoal/Grizzly Wintergreen.

I smell him in Little Debbie Cakes.

I smell him in cheap hair gel.

I smell him in stale smoke and feel him in bars.

I hear him in Biggie and Tupac and Master P and the Beastie Boys.

He is part of every day that I still have and I would not have it any other way.

He also struggled with addiction.  He struggled with mental health.  He fought like hell against his demons on a daily basis.  But he NEVER fought alone.  So many people stepped up to stand with him, to fight beside him, to love him, to be what he needed.  I will NEVER be able to thank those people enough.  People who gave of themselves to help, to fight, to talk to, to encourage, to mentor.  Band-Aids.  

Thank God for Band-Aids.  Even if they only distance the pain and heal temporarily, they make this life worth living.

***If you struggle with addiction or mental health issues, please reach out to someone.  I'm here.  Other people are here.  Contact someone. ***

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

National Mental Health and Addiction Support: https://www.samhsa.gov/find-help/national-helpline

South Carolina Suicide Prevention: https://www.sprc.org/states/south-carolina

South Carolina Addiction Help: https://www.addictioncenter.com/rehabs/south-carolina/

Rollercoaster Ride

So I'm not much of a risk taker. Well, like real risks where there could be an actual negative outcome or one that I do not desire. Recently I took a risk, I applied to get in to The Graduate School at the University of South Carolina for my Ed.D. in Curriculum and Instruction with a focus on Educational Technology.

To many, that is not a major risk. You may get in, you may not. If you don't, it's not meant to be or maybe try at another time or even another school/program. Nah, that's not who I am. I set goals and make plans, very precise plans with little to no wiggle room because who makes vague goals/plans? Regardless, was this really that big of a deal? To me, it was an incredibly huge deal.

As with anything in life, timing is everything. I struggle with this as I constantly question myself as to if things are happening at the right time, or if it is the right time to try or just timing in general. Okay, maybe you are realizing I'm a tad OCD and an overthinker and you are right. Anyway, timing...why now, am I sure now is the right time? Ugh... those thoughts continued until I began to think, why not now?

I ran across a quote I wrote down in 2016 when reading The Book Thief.

And it would show me, once again, that one opportunity leads directly to another, just as risk leads to more risk, life to more life, and death to more death.

A rollercoaster ride if you will. You have ups, you have downs. You have opportunities, you have set backs. You have life and you have death.

Different people take part in your rollercoaster ride for different purposes. Some have to encourage you to get on the ride at all, some ride alongside of you, and some ask at the end, "What in the world were we thinking?" The people that are part of your ride are your people. As I think about my people, many are not even here now to watch me on this part of my ride, but they would also encourage me to risk it, put myself out there to see if this would be part of my ride right now.

After submitting the application, it felt like years went by before I heard anything. I was on that uphill part of the rollercoaster where you can hear all of those creepy clicking sounds and just pray that nothing malfunctions as you climb to a pinnacle and the point of no return. I was becoming impatient. I had talked myself out of the entire thing and just knew that it was not the right time or meant to be for me at that time. Then some more of my people held my hand and assured me that things would indeed work out. Sort of like making sure my hands and feet were inside the ride at all times and that I did not jump out. You know those people? The people who always know what is best for you but also know you can be a little crazy and irrational at times? Yeah. Them. They are the ones who are always there at that part of the ride. Thank. God.

After several more days, the information came that I had been accepted. I was more than thrilled. I was ecstatic. Elated. Pumped. Jumping up and down. It was that part of the ride where you smile at the camera so you can see at the very end that it was all worth it, and at that very point, you knew it would be and were caught up in the moment of everything happy and joyful.

I'm now just riding along in the process. Some ups and downs, twists and turns and the people encouraging me all the way along. It is going to be a LONG process, and one where I am sure I will question numerous decisions I make, but it will be a worthwhile ride. I know I will have to be talked with to stay the course, just like when you are wanting to get off of that rollercoaster or when you even want to hurl. Each of these experiences are what make the ride and the people even more important.

Your ride is your ride, risks and all. Your people are your people, in both the good and the bad.

Life is a constant rollercoaster ride that leaves all of us with different emotions at various points througout the ride, but in the end, we are all glad that it is one ride we were on.

The Power of Pearls

A woman who walks into a room wearing a little black dress, heels and pearls exudes both confidence and class. In the South, we are raised to know the power of a strand of pearls and the woman wearing them; it is almost an instant level of respect.

I recently found the following quote by Janet Fitch while reading White Oleander that made me truly ponder the power of pearls.

"The pearls weren't really white, they were a warm oyster beige, with little knots in between so if they broke, you only lost one. I wished my life could be like that, knotted up so that even if something broke, the whole thing wouldn't come apart."

What a gut check. Is a strand of pearls more powerful than I have been raised to think? Do pearls represent something more than just confidence and class?

The strength of a real pearl necklace, properly knotted with pearls of true color, is a flawless juxtaposition of perfection and imperfection;
much like my life, some parts are the pearls and other parts are the knots.

So much of my life I feel like I could have come apart at any given time, but something held me together; something kept all of the pearls from coming undone, falling to the floor, and scattering all over the place...

I see the warm oyster beige imperfections and problems when I look at each pearl.

I see my saving graces in each and every knot that held and continues to hold me together.

How do you hold yourself together when you feel like life is falling apart? Put together your invisible string of pearls. Merge your imperfections with tightly knitted saving graces and hold your chin up high, and exude nothing but confidence and class.

After all...

Maybe

Maybe I've been slack the last few years with my writing. Whew, let's just say the last 3 years have been a whirlwind of emotions. I have no idea why I quit writing here or what kept me from doing so except excuses. I have always found writing a place to find peace of mind, yet I have deprived myself of doing so during some times where I needed it most.

Was it because I couldn't come to terms with things myself much less posting them for the world to see? Maybe. Was it because I wanted to pretend that things weren't happening and if I wrote about them, then they surely were. Maybe. Was it because I thought nobody wanted to read about what was going on in this crazy mind of mine? Maybe. Was it because I didn't want to expose others to the hurt and sadness going on in my life while knowing they had things going on in their own lives? Maybe.

Maybe.

What a simple word with such implied meaning.

Webster defines it this way:

maybe
adverb may·be \ˈmā-bē also ˈme-\
Simple Definition of maybe: possibly but not certainly
Full Definition of maybe: perhaps

Now that seems so easy to understand, but life has made me have different opinions of the word.

Isn't it funny how little things mean the most? Maybe.

As a child, maybe was simple.

Momma, can I play outside when I get done eating? Maybe.
Can I have some K-Swiss shoes for Christmas like all of the cool kids? Maybe.
Do you want to go to Pizza Hut after the game? Maybe.

Maybe was a word that left me wondering about things that really weren't all that important, but truth be told, that maybe usually came true. Yes, I could play outside. Yes, I got some K-Swiss shoes. Yes, we are all going to Pizza Hut after the game; that's what we do. Maybe seemed to be a word that just put off finding out the answer, not a word that changed the outcome of anything. Maybe was even often followed by the ever so cool shrug of the shoulders, especially when wearing some fantastically awesome shoulder pads. It made the impact of the shrug and the maybe more intense; therefore making those hearing the maybe anxiously await the response. The anticipation seemed to even make it more fun.

Isn't it funny how life changes things? Maybe.

As an adult, maybe became a word loaded with ambiguity, vagueness and often times - dread.

Doctor, do you think this chemo work? Maybe.
Do we need to prepare for around the clock care? Maybe.
Will Daddy make it to Christmas this year? Maybe.

Maybe became a word that I never wanted to hear. Maybe left me hanging on hope that often times was not hanging in the balance. Maybe made me desire things that deep down I knew weren't going to happen. Maybe gave a false sense of hope to those who I love and care about most. Maybe made me second guess myself and things I believe in. Maybe put a spin on things that I never wanted to consider or think about. Maybe became a word of finality, pain and hurt as it most often implied a not so positive outcome.

Isn't it funny how life isn't fair? Maybe.

Now looking at the word maybe, I have mixed emotions. Does maybe just delay a response or does maybe mean a dreadful ending? Maybe it's neither.

Maybe is a word that can imply both happiness and sadness. Hope and despair. Excitement and dread. Joy and pain. Anticipation and rebellion.

Even in the not so happy scenarios where I experienced maybe, maybe may have been playing me. If the word maybe wouldn't have been uttered at some of the most difficult times, I think all hope would have been removed. The word maybe has almost become an oxymoron to me.

Looking back, when the doctor replied, "maybe" to my question concerning the chemo working, I heard no. I saw what chemo did to my dad year in and year out over a 6 year period. I saw cancer continue to destroy his body and even his mind. I saw sickness. I saw pain. I saw 2 small kids looking at a father who never felt "good." I saw my mother, his wife, wanting to only hear the word yes, the chemo will work and this cancer will be gone and never come back. So from this angle, maybe was the worst word I could ever hear, but maybe there was a flip side.

Maybe, there was that other angle making it an oxymoron to me. How could one word mean the worst and best at the same time? It's simple. Maybe defines itself through perception of the one hearing it.

Maybe was a point of inspiration to my Dad. When he heard the word maybe he heard hope, he heard desire, he heard a chance. Will the chemo work? Maybe. Do we need more meds? Maybe. Will I feel like crap? Maybe. Can I drive? Maybe. Can I go back to work? Maybe. Will I see my kids graduate? Maybe.

Mr. Webster defined it best with possibly but not certainly. Daddy thought why not? He embraced the word maybe. He owned the word maybe. No matter how many times doctors, nurses, or others gave him a maybe - he accepted the challenge. Maybe meant I have a shot. Maybe meant we're not at the end. Maybe meant try. Maybe meant don't give up.

Maybe meant fight. like. hell.


So maybe perception is reality. Maybe words mean different things to different people. I know that maybe made me who I am. Maybe brought me through tough times; but as I was hating the word, it gave someone who I loved more than anything the hope to fight another day.

Maybe the little things do mean the most. Maybe a moment in time that you will never forget. Maybe a word uttered that melts your heart. Maybe a song that brings back a flood of memories. Maybe the little things are what matter. Maybe they are indeed the BIG things.

Maybe life isn't fair. I know I don't think it has always been fair to me or my family. But who determines what fair is? Maybe the unfairness leads to forming bonds with others you never knew you would need and come to rely on. Maybe the unfairness brings about strengths you didn't know you had. Maybe the unfairness teaches you things like patience and perseverance that you may not have wanted to learn but needed to.

Maybe may mean different things to different people at different times in their lives. One thing I do know is that maybe is not a word that should be taken lightly as it's impact is lasting.


~Maybe in the little things we find what's most important.

~Maybe in the unfairness we become who we are meant to be.

~Maybe life doesn't change things. Maybe life changes us.

Whipped Cream...Weakness

Well, I am trying...at least I can say that. I even got up early today and worked out in the morning on my day off. YES! I did however stop and enjoy a Sonic blast - a mini though.

What can I say...the whipped cream there is amazing. We all have our weaknesses and this is one of mine. I have been doing so good this week and other weeks thus far. I have been working out and everything, but I did splurge. I am okay with that because I am getting back on my wagon.

On a positive note, I did take pictures and measurements today to see how far I will come. I feel like I need some way to measure my success. I should have done it before now, but I did not. I have it in my cell phone in the notes section so I can see it as a reminder any time that I need one or want to remember that I need to stay focused.

I measured my waist, bust, hips, thighs and arms. All of these areas are ones that I am working on and I want to see the improvement. You should measure too!

What are your weaknesses or temptations when it comes to food? Think about what they are and focus on what you can replace that temptation with or how you can minimize it. Just think, you are 21 days into this new you!

2012...WE GONE!

2012, a year that I came to love even though I thought I wouldn't. Knowing that I am about as OCD as they come, I did find a comfort early on in the year knowing that it was an even year as opposed to an odd, but nonetheless, looked on with skepticism as the year began. The year brought highs and lows, smiles and frowns and even some cheers and boos. As I look back over the year, there are many things that I should have done or wanted to do but didn't, but there were other things that I did that I had expected to. Here are a few highlights of 2012 for me.

1. NYC with my husband, one of my favorite places on Earth. We got to not only experience it, but experience it with my dear Aunt Stacy and Austin. Stacy and I experienced a rather expensive Godiva chocolate covered strawberry while strolling the streets and we had a grand tour of the city. Jeffrey was quite the food enthusiast as we meandered through New York, and Austin made us proud with his football efforts. All in all, we had a great trip; as NYC is a fave of mine. Call me a tourist or cheesy, but I love the feel of Times Square at night.

2. Football, football, and more football. Jeffrey and I enjoy football and other sports probably more than most and enjoy the time we spend with each other watching football. Austin allowed us to watch him excel this year as a collegiate center and made us rather proud. We traveled all over - Pennsylvania, New York, Virginia and even Minnesota this year. Spending time with each other, friends and family week in and week out allowed us to make memories that we will never forget. I thank God for these friends and family and for the opportunity for Austin to get to play the game he loves while getting an education.

Austin as a captain (#59):

Jeffrey and I supporting our Wildcats!

My family:

3. New undertakings. I was fortunate to be able to come back home to my favorite place in the world, Ninety Six and teach our children. What a great honor. I love each and every day in our small town. I also inherited the Ninety Six High volleyball program for the end of the year and worked with some amazing adults and players. I was and am reminded on a daily basis that Ninety Six is like nowhere else and for that, I am most thankful.

My awesome players on "Cause Night" supporting a cure for cancer!

4. Trips. We went several places, football and non-football related as a couple and as a family. We spend a great deal of time at the beach, my favorite place in the whole-wide world. We spent time on the lake, at Biltmore Estate, Greenville and so many more places. Each place allowed quality time and making memories. We are so blessed to be able to go and enjoy life all over the place.

Beach in the spring.

Downtown Greenville.

Beach in the summer.

USC Regionals and Super-Regionals. Chilling, awesome experiences. We were able to see Christian Walker and Michael Roth in their final appearances at Carolina Stadium.

5. Celebrations. Well Bekah Grace graduated kindergarten, Dalton, Mason and Ellison graduated college and Ellison got married. Deanna also birthed a child. Whew. A lot, and I know I've left some out.

Dalton's Graduation.

Bekah's Graduation.

Ellison's Wedding.

Brynn's birth.

Overall, 2012 was a pretty good year, but we had some trials. Daddy's cancer came back and he has been a trooper. I can't imagine what it takes to fight cancer, but I know that my Daddy makes it look easy. He's such a great example of a fighter and I am so proud of him. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that he will win this fight!

My volleyball girls think he's awesome!

Daddy and his girls.

2012, thank you for what you've taught me, what you've allowed me to experience and for the opportunities that you have given me. I look forward to 2013; as I know that it will be even better. I am so incredibly blessed that I know that no matter what comes, we will survive and smile through it!

Happy New Year everyone!

Back to school excitement!

I have to say that I am extremely excited to begin a new school year as an 8th grade science teacher. I have been fortunate to attain a position in my hometown in a school that I went to myself, well except for they have constructed a brand new one. I am so excited as to what I will be able to do with my students with this new opportunity and all of the resources that the new school will provide. I thought I would give you a few sneak peeks of my room before I finish all of my "decorations."


A look towards the back of the room with plenty of boxes to unpack! Notice all of the cabinets!

A view of the side of my room with the computer area for students and the amazing black lab tables and stools.

A front view of the room. Notice the new Promethean board and projector and lab demonstration area at the front.

The very front of my classroom when students enter the room. The door leads to a large storage area.

I think I am already spoiled! I am so excited. I have been working for several weeks to get this room ready for amazing students. I will post pictures this week of the room ready for my students!

Cheeseburger Surprise

Well, well, well if it isn't my lucky day. I attempted a fabulous and EASY recipe I found on Pinterest.com, and I must come clean, I have tried several before with limited success but this one was not only successful, but really good. I made a few minor adjustments and in the end, it was phenomenal.

Ingredients:

* 1-2 pounds of hamburger meat (You may substitute a leaner cut or even turkey to make more healthy)
* 1 pound of processed cheese cubed (I used the Great Value (R) brand)
* 3 tablespoons of melted butter
* Salt and Pepper to taste
* 1 large packet of Homecooked Bacon Bits (see picture below to know the kind - the recipe called for actually cooking bacon and
then cubing it and including it, but I found these worked just as well. Again, you can use the reduced fat kind)

* You can add onion powder or garlic powder for more flavor, but my picky husband does not like either so I did not include them.


Steps:
1. Brown hamburger meat and then drain all grease.
2. In a separate bowl, mix salt, pepper, butter, bacon bits and cheese cubes. (Add in garlic and onion powder here)
3. Add the bowl mixture to the drained hamburger meat in the pan and keep on warm heat. Stir until all fo the cheese is melted
and a nice, thick mixture is formed.
4. Add your mixture into crescent rolls and cook at 375 degrees for 11-13 minutes depending upon your oven.

After making the mixture, I have decided that I could also get really yummy rolls and place the mixture on them like sliders or even on hamburger buns. Oh YUM!

Why Today? I'm not EXACTLY sure....

Well people have been asking me about starting my blog back and I have given it much thought as writing is very therapuetic (sp?) to me. I have begun to blog several different times and just didn't have a topic that really got me going or that I had a lot to say about - I know...hard to imagine. Either way, today it has struck me and I'm ready to write so I hope you are ready to read.

Six years ago today, my life changed forever. My high school and college years were wonderful, yet we had some scares with my Pa but nothing that compared to this. The oddest part about it was that I had a feeling - the feeling that people say that Mom's have about their children and what not - a feeling like I knew what had happened before it happened. There is no way that I can explain it, but it was there. The drive to Ninety Six was the longest yet shortest drive of my life, one that I never wanted to make even though Ninety Six is my favorite place in the world. Upon pulling in to my parent's driveway I was overcome with various emotions - sadness, shock, dread, yet complete and total awe at the number of people who cared about my family. I am not sure that there is really anything that makes dealing with a shocking death easier, but having people who love and care about you surrounding you has to be the closest thing or best attempt. It's also odd that under all of the shock, I can name almost every single person who was at my parent's house on that day six years ago. As the minutes and hours passed, there was a steady stream of people who were in and out of our home, on the phone, sending supplies and more and that continued throughout the entire process which was an outpouring of love that I never knew would exist. If you are reading this and were a part of that - I say, "Thank you!" You have no idea what an impact you had on me and my entire family.

Something that I was never prepared to do was to put together a funeral for my younger brother while I was only 24 years old. I feel like when I received the call, I immediately grew up and aged about 10 years. There is nothing and I do mean NOTHING in life that prepares you for that, but it is in a time like that when your back is to the wall and you have nothing to do but grab the bull by the horns and deal with what is in front of you. I always knew I was a strong person, but I think this event solidified it for me which has paid off through other events throughout these last few crazy years. I remember the look on my parent's faces and the faces of my family when decisions had to be made and difficult tasks had to be conducted - it wasn't right to even approach them with them - it wasn't fair. Thankfully, I had an amazing husband - of only 7 months at the time - who stood by my side, held my hand and supported me throughout the entire situation. I will NEVER be able to thank him enough for that, there is no way that I possibly can. As we chose the arrangements, the casket and more I began to ask myself if I was making the right choices and that is when I realized that there isn't a right choice - it is just a formality of death which comes for all of us at some point.

The quote below brings me solace and I say it so many times each day.

As many people say, those days were a blur and in some ways they were but in many ways they were not. As I have already mentioned, the people are unforgettable in every sense of the word. The faces in the crowd, the hugs, the "I have no idea what to says" are forever etched in my memory as people who stood by us in a time that we never wanted to face. Many days I think back to those days and the people constantly come to mind - trust me when I say that you have no idea what it means to a family when you show up, call, text or any means of communication during a time of tragedy. There are literally no words that can express that feeling. Again, thank you.

One image that will never be erased from my memory is when we were pulling into the cemetary for the funeral. I have tears in my eyes as I type this remembering the sea of people who were there. The crowd seemed to go on forever, as far as my eyes could see. I literally could not believe my eyes nor the feeling that I got from the surrounding of love and care for my family. As upset as we all were due to the circumstances, we were also overwhelmed and completely blessed by the support and love we received. As we walekd from the car to the chairs, it was as though we were walking through a crowd at a concert, people were everywhere - some who I expected to see and some who I didn't - each of them meaning so much to me. The service was a sweet one, hitting home to I think everyone in the crowd and I am not sure that there was a dry eye there and I know without a shadow of a doubt that God was there - I could see him, I could feel him - it was surreal, it is still surreal. I remember those who placed items in the casket and remember thinking how awesome Big Tate was and how overshadowed that became because of some bad choices. It was clear to me that so many people knew the good in him and how big his heart was. Big Tate was a person like no other and would do most anything for anyone - beneath his big and bad exterior was a heart the size of the Earth - one that hurt for others and worried more than most of you know. His heart was something that I wasn't born with, but that I've tried to emulate since his death. The way that he could make anyone feel important, make you laugh on the worst day of your life or just his smile to let you know that everything would be OK are things that I miss every, single day of my life. I know without a shadow of a doubt, that by the crowd of people there that Big Tate touched more hearts than just mine and many people's hearts broke for the loss of him because he was indeed an amazing person. I know there were many who wondered what more that they could have done in order to prevent this event from happening, was it something they could have said, done or maybe not done or said that would have stopped his death and for those people including myself I offer this:

We will NEVER understand why Big Tate had to leave this Earth so quickly at a time when we were not ready for him to leave, but he left at a time when his Father was ready for him to leave. Big Tate was always unpredictable which is what so many of us loved about him and he got us all one last time with an early departure. I do know that God's timing is PERFECT and even though it may not make sense to us, it was his time. It doesn't make it fair or right as it seems, but it was PERFECT as it was planned and God knew it from the time he was born as he does for each of us. So for those of you who have guilt or questions as to what you could have done more or differently - find peace in knowing that no matter what you think you could have done - it was his time. You all did more for Big Tate than words could express and we are all forever grateful. Our family appreciates all that everyone did for him and the stories still pour in to this day, so once again...Thank you.

As I sit today and think about losing someone close, I have some points for everyone. (You know I couldn't have a blog without a numbered list)

1. You never know when your day is coming - live each day as it is your last.
2. Life passes too quickly. Stop and enjoy the ride. Do what you want and do not live in fear - go after it!
3. Take pictures - more than you think you should - even when the people in the pictures are getting angry - there will come a time when picture are all that you have and you will treasure them more than most things in your life.
4. Do what makes you happy. Life is too short to be miserable.
5. If people don't add value to your life, don't worry with them - spend time with those who mean the most to you.

In closing, I would like to leave you with a few things that Big Tate taught me and I am sure I will add to this list as the days go by - if you have something he taught you - add it in the comments - I would love to hear them.

1. You aren't better than anyone.
2. Friends come in all shapes, sizes, colors and ages - be a friend - to everyone.
3. Everyone you face is fighting a harder battle - smile and make their day.
4. Have a heart for those who can't fight for themselves - they need your voice.
5. Live a little more carefree - the to do list will be there - time will not.
6. Always drink with a koozie, it's more classy.
7. Have a back up plan, at all times, you don't know what is going to happen and always have someone you can call for a ride.
8. Make everyone you meet feel special - he had a way of doing that.
9. Make jokes. Enjoy jokes. Remember the jokes and fun times - revisit them often.
10. When you are involved in something - give it all you have - at all times. I try to approach things I'm involved in with the pride and intensity that he had in a Wildcat football uniform. #59 will NEVER be the same and will always have a special place in my heart and it PAINS me to see someone other than a Sargent wear it but that is life. The attitude that comes with #59 is somethign that nobody outside of our family can replicate, and it is not their fault, it is something that I can't explain.

Looking back and thinking has made me realize that Big Tate had something that has just become a popular word or Twitter hashtag. Big Tate had #SWAGGER. Many days I think of him and his swag and it brings me joy, it puts a smile on my face and it makes me keep going. I know that he's still there, many days I can feel him - and I can hear him. He's more like a big brother now than a younger brother - and I thank God for that.

Jam Session

So as I was driving home tonight, I decided that there were probalby lots of people thinking about how it would be so cool to throw me a party because everyone knows how I love a gathering and those same people would also include dancing because of how much they know I love it and any of these people contemplating this aforementioned gathering would probably not know exactly what songs to include, so in an effort to make things easier for all involved I am compiling a list of all songs that I would like to have. Start the head bob...let's go.

The Playlist
1. Let's Get Married by Jagged Edge
2. Jack and Diane by John Cougar Mellencamp
3. Faithfully by Journey
4. Baby Got Back by Sir Mix A Lot
5. Always by Bon Jovi
6. You Never Even Called Me By My Name by David Allan Coe
7. Love In This Club by Usher
8. Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard
9. PYT by Michael Jackson
10. Daisy Dukes by 69 Boyz
11. Brass Monkey by Beastie Boys
12. At Last by Etta James
13. The Train by Quad City DJ's
14. Here Comes the Hotstepper by Ini Kamoze
15. Rump Shacker by Wreckx-N-Effect
16. Regulator by Warren G and Nate Dogg
17. I'll Make Love To You by Boyz To Men
18. Love Hurts by Nazareth
19. November Rain by Guns N' Roses
20. Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton
21. Take My Breath Away by Berlin
22. I'll Stand By You by the Pretenders
23. Let's Get It On by Marvin Gaye
24. I Love Rock 'N Roll by Joan Jett
25. Super Freak by Rick James
26. You Shook Me All Night Long by AC/DC
27. Livin' On A Prayer by Bon Jovi
28. Rapper's Delight by The Sugarhill Gang
29. Push It by Salt-N-Pepa
30. Wild Thing by Tone Loc
31. Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc
32. It's Tricky by Run DMC
33. The Devil Went Down to Georgia by Charlie Daniels Band
34. I Cross My Heart by George Strait
35. Lady by Kenny Rogers
36. Let's Make Love by Faith Hill and Tim McGraw
37. Shut Up and Kiss Me by Mary Chapin Carpenter
38. I Melt by Rascal Flatts
39. Somewhere with You by Kenny Chesney
40. Good Morning Beautiful by Steve Holy
41. Johnny and June by Heidi Newfield
42. She's Country by Jason Aldean
43. Stay by Sugarland
44. She's My Kind of Rain by Tim McGraw
45. Hypnotize the Moon by Clay Walker
46. Does That Blue Moon Shine on You by Toby Keith
47. She's A Hottie by Toby Keith
48. You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This by Toby Keith
49. The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground
50. Let Her Cry by Hootie and the Blowfish
51. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison
52. Sittin' On The Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding
53. Carolina Girls by General Johnon and the Chairmen
54. Don't Stop Believin' by Journey
55. Sweet Carolina by Neil Diamond
56. Boom Boom Pow by Black Eyed Peas
57. Poker Face by Lady Gaga
58. Ice, Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice
59. Low by Flo Rida featuring T Pain
60. Play that Funky Music by Wild Cherry
61. I Want You To Want Me by Cheap Trick
62. Come Away With Me by Norah Jones
63. Lost in this Moment by Big and Rich
64. You and Me by Lifehouse
65. Don't Cha by the Pussycat Dolls
66. Sex on Fire by Kings of Leon
67. Bombs over Baghdad by OutKast
68. Flap Your Wings by Nelly
69. Rock Your Body by Justin Timberlake
70. Apache by Sugarhill Gang
71. The Joker by Steve Miller Band
72. Dance to the Music by Slye and the Family Stone
73. Get Ya Freak on by Missy Elliot
74. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper
75. Summer of '69 by Bryan Adams

It's extensive and I've probably left some out, but it's a start.

Let's Go For Things I Like Instead

So since I blasted out the top 10 things that I strongly dislike, I'm going to flip the coin and list things that I just absolutely love or have huge crushes on. I'm even going to try and just put them in a never ending paragraph instead of a nice formatted list...let's hope it works...Here goes...

Clorox clean-up - in any fashion but the smell is mesmerizing to me and the feel of cleaning something with it makes me smile on all levels, beat boxing, cool rain on a hot day, digging my feet into the sand and sitting in the edge of the ocean for hours on end, Danskos, reading raunchy novels, praying in my car, cranking up the music with the windows down singing to the top of my lungs, cube steak with rice & gravy, silver jewelry, Jeffrey's deodorant, playing on the lake, organizing - color-coding - alphabetizing - etc..anything and I do mean anything, smiling, listening to 80's and 90's music, Toby Keith, watching cooking shows wishing that I was really a great healthy chef, dancing of every kind, my family, decorating, jersey knit sheets, Rainbows, cleanliness, soft blankets/pillows, helping others, t-shirts, koozies, music - it's therapy, Heavenly Hash ice cream - Pet brand only, a few cheesy TV shows, the smell of fresh cut grass, sunglasses, bald men, Stone Cold, Wildcat athletics, dark skin, checking off to-do lists, sleeping late, Pier 1, being a student - I'm kind of a dork, college football and baseball and softball and volleyball, clean scented candles, laughing, Diet Dr. Pepper, eating out, competition, making people laugh, tattoos, lotion, positive people, teaching children, a round of golf at Star Fort, shopping for deals, the feeling of accomplishment, conversation - I am a huge fan of conversation - especially ones that have susbstance, texting, neat handwriting, nice teeth, the smell of Skoal Wintergreen, surprises, being tan, #59, compliments, Mizunos, BIG trucks with BIG tires...

The list could continue, however I'm going to leave it ... so it can be continued because I also love adding to lists.

Top Ten Things I Strongly Dislike

1. I strongly dislike that I have to make my top ten list about things that I hate be entitled "Top Ten Things that I Strongly Dislike" because my mother does not allow me to use the word hate. I strongly dislike that I can't use that word because there are some things that I truly hate in every meaning of the word like prejudices and unequal rights.

2. People who have to tell me how important they are or their job is. If you are that good, you won't have to tell me.

3. Dirtiness. I can't handle it. It sends me over the edge. Everything has a place and that place is put up. Please keep things tidy and clean. Nothing better than scrubbing something clean. Let's be real, if you wouldn't eat off if it, it is not clean enough.

4. Misbehaving children in public. People, I do not go to the mall, a restaurant, a store, or anywhere else in public to be interrupted or interfered with by your child acting a fool. At least make an attempt to keep them in check. Just like there is a place for everything, there is a time for everything and acting up in public is not it. Oh yes, and I do not think it is cute when your child peeks his head over my booth in a restaurant or constantly yells out while I am trying to eat dinner. If I wanted a kid at my table, I would have brought one.

5. Cell Phoning/Texting and shopping. Quit it already and get your buggy out of my way. Please at least step to the side. Some of us have things to actually do while we are shopping and I didn't slate my entire afternoon for a 2 item trip to Wal-Mart so be courteous and pull over and while I am at, lower your voice. Not to be rude or inconsiderate, but I don't care to hear your conversation. I will on occasion text and shop and this is something I am working on. I do use texting etiquette and pullover normally. Just know that we are working on this one together.

6. Lack of use of a blinker. I'm almost 100 percent positive that every car is equipped with a blinker. Use it. Do not let a turn jump up on you, and for goodness sakes, TURN. It doesn't take 3 minutes to pull your car into a driveway or whatnot. If you are unable to turn at a reasonable rate, then you have created a car that isn't fit for the road. Keep it in the yard.

7. Non-Southern Manners. There is NO such thing as manners outside of the South so please don't lie and say that your manners are appropriate, the fact is, you don't have any. Yes mam, no mam, yes sir and no sir are mandatory in the South. If you don't like it...move on back. I expect anyone younger than myself to reply that way. I respond to my elders that way and I will always do so. Eye rolling and teeth sucking is not appropriate and saying "huh" or "what" will simply not do. Mam or sir is the only response. Also, if I ask you a question then I expect a response, a simple head nod will not do. One last manner...please, thank you and excuse me are also musts. Please be reminded that living in the South is a choice and a move back home is always an option.

8. People who think they are the exception to the rule, matter of fact, people who think they are the exception to every rule. Rules are made to be broken, I hear ya, but expect the consequences. Rules are meant for everyone that are involved, you aren't special. Period. End of story. Don't expect everyone to change their plans or reactions because you feel as though you are "too good" are "above the rules." You aren't. Come back down to Earth with the rest of us, do what you are supposed to or pay the consequences. Everyone breaks rules, but don't expect a pity party or sympathy fest because you think you are exempt from following the norm/rules.

9. Laziness. Everyone has to work. Everyone has to clean their house. Everyone has to do their job. Everyone has to keep up their yard. Everyone has to do their finances. Everyone, do you notice the trend? I will not give you a high five for cleaning up your home or for doing your job...it is what you should do. Get off your tail, stop complaining and just do it. We all hate certain aspects of this from time to time, but for crying out loud get over yourself and get it done.

10. People who think that fashion items look good on them. Let's check ourselves...everything doesn't look good on everyone. Just because they make it or have it in your size doesn't mean you should wear it. Let's do a mirror check and do my classroom rule - ask 3 before me before some items are worn in public. All of us fight this battle, I mean heck...they even have "skinny" jeans in Lane Bryant yet I don't find it necessary to buy them.

So Incredibly Blessed

In a matter of 3 days, life for my family has been turned upside down; yet throughout it all, I continue to realize how incredibly blessed we are. As I look back at the past few days, I have been reminded of how incredibly blessed my family is. As I sat and thought about why things happen, how they happen or why they happen to me/my family, I was quickly reminded that none of that matters. The things that matter in life are not those that can be measured, evaluated, are even described sometimes. The things that matter in this life are the people, the relationships, the FAITH that we have, the interactions and kindness of others, the smile on a face, a hug from a friend, a phone call, a card, and even a text message or facebook message these days. In being reminded of the things that really matter in this life, I continue to think and say to myself that I/my family are so INCREDIBLY blessed.

We have been INCREDIBLY blessed by...

* Ninety Six, SC - I know I'm biased, but my hometown is nothing short of incredible and amazing. As our family has been hurting, our entire town has helped to share this pain and are all hurting right along beside us. I do believe that every single person in our town has been impacted by such a tragic loss. All of the people and even businesses in town have been more than gracious with whatever they have to offer to help our family in such a difficult time.

* Ninety Six School District - I don't know what more they could do for us. People from every school have visited, brought food, called, offered everything they have in order to help us be comforted. They have even offered the stadium for our funeral service and are doing everything to make it happen so our family won't have to worry about a thing. The sign at the high school even has a tribute to Big Rog.

* Self Memorial Hospital - Amazing staff! The team of people that cared for Roger and our family were nothing short of INCREDIBLE. They were so caring and hard working and went above and beyond what they had to do to support our family.

*FAMILY & FRIENDS - Our lives would not be complete without you all. Every time I would look up at the hospital or at the house, a new face would light up the room. Our phones have continuously lit up with calls and messages of people to just say that they care and they loved us. I am not a hugger by any stretch, but have hugged so many amazing people over the last few days who do nothing but care for our family. I know that we could not have gotten this far and will not be able to go any further without our family and friends. You will never know what you all have meant to our entire family. Words can really not express how we feel about our family and friends, but we do constantly thank God for you all. I also thank GOD for my amazing husband who has been my rock and strength for the past 5 years. Our road hasn't been easy but it has been blessed and full, thank you for being my everything.

* Last...our FAITH - As things unfolded, I never asked God, "Why us?" because that is not important, but instead I asked, "What God, what do you have in store for us with this one?" Our family has been tested beyond belief, but each and every blow we pull closer to each other and closer to God. As I was sitting in the hospital or trying to talk with other family members to make decisions or even facing people in the hospital who stopped by to visit that nearly brought us all to tears, I continued to sing Chris Tomlin's song in my head..."Your Grace is enough, your Grace is enough, your Grace is enough for me." Thank GOD for his peace, thank GOD for his Grace, thank GOD for the people he sends to us, thank GOD for his timing and most of all thank GOD for his ultimate plan that is out of my hands.

As I reflect, I know that these words do not do justice to what an INCREDIBLY BLESSED experience my family has been through over the past few days, but it is at least my attempt to say thank you to those who have done so much and mean so much to me and my family. Our efforts to say thank you are simply not enough. In the days ahead, I will never forget the faces, the comments, the calls, the discussions and the relationships that have been restored due to this tragic time in our lives. God has a way of reminding us to SLOW down...life is quick and the people that matter to us should know it, all the time. Don't let the sun go down on something that has upset you and don't sweat the small things. Remember to let those who matter take a priority in life and remember that life is not a sprint, it's a marathon and all those who matter should be there all along the way.

Thanks to all of you amazing people who have made my life INCREDIBLY blessed and thank God for putting you all in our lives at such a time as this. Love you all.

In closing, I refer to our family's go to verse - Jeremiah 29:11 - "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." We aren't sure why we have been through what we've been through but we do know WHO has the plan! Thank you God! :)

Seriously People....We are on Defense...There is no need for the "What Do We Want....TD Cheer"

Each and every week I happily trek to one football field and then another to support various teams, friends, and/or family. I also watch numerous games per week on the television and some may say, "Why?" or "You must be crazy" but I actually enjoy the sport, but better than that I UNDERSTAND it. So why then am I writing about people who don't understand football and any other sport for that matter...it's merely because of the obnoxious displays that others portray as they pretend to really "get into" the sport.

You know, I often look at myself and wonder if I am indeed one of the only females who enjoy watching a team go into the Wildcat at a critical time in a game or even run a flea flicker to change a game's momentum...and I have realized that I am one of the few and I'm okay with that. What bothers me is the women who are always creating a scene or putting in their 2 cents and do not know what is going on in order to gain male attention or just keep their current male's attention.

Just for a moment, let's place ourselves at a game on a random Friday night or under the lights at Williams Brice on Saturday and explore some of what we may see and/or hear.

* The infamous...."Come on everybody...let's do the 'Whatda We Want...TD...What's that...TOUCHDOWN!' cheer or any other offensive cheer when our team is in a 4-3 defense and the other team is driving down the field at will.

* When leaving the stadium you oversee/overhear 2 girls walking together in front of their prospective dates asking each other, "What was the score? Like 1 to 11 or something?"

* When women/girls wear the team "colors" to the game since they clearly have no team apparel. Often times this attempt is an epic fail due to the fact they roll up to Carolina-Georgia game wearing red and black cheering for the Gamecocks (completely not understanding the difference between garnet and red) or when going to a Clemson-Miami game in just a random orange shirt that clearly leans towards the Hurricanes. Come on people, if you are going to be a fan get it RIGHT.

* Women who are yelling things like "Get the ball" or "Get Him, Tackle Him" when our team is the one who fumbled our our guy is the one running the ball. I just can't handle it. Do you even know who you came to watch?

* Dancing fans who try to sing along with the fight song and don't know the words or are merely clap the rhythm to the touchdown music and are completely off beat.

* Bringing children to the game who are unwatched. Now, I know you may be here at the game to get you a man or because your husband said so, but some of us are actually watching and I can't see the field when your child goes for the 5th snow cone after dropping the first 4. Please, I beg of you, make your children behave at the game so some of us can actually enjoy what we are there to watch.

* Every time the ball goes through the uprights does not constitute a field goal, there are actually these things called PAT's - or point after touchdowns where our team only gets 1 point for the ball going through. Please don't turn around and share that we just got another "goal."

* Random high fives are often times unnecessary. If you can't explain why you are high fiving me, please just continue to eat the boiled peanuts and gossip about what the women down to your left are wearing.

* Wearing a dress or skirt to a football game - this is ONLY acceptable if you came directly from work. If you actually take time to put this on and get ready, please also bring your very own business cards with your phone number on it to give out as you are consistently trying to get a date. Thanks.

* The band, cheerleaders, dance team or anyone other than the actual team on the field is really irrelevant. I am not discrediting what your child is doing, I am just not there to watch them; neither is the majority of the crowd. I am very proud of them and will support them all the same but during half time, I will discuss the plays of the first half while the band is playing their show and I will NOT participate in cheers lead by the cheerleaders at times during the game while I am clearly trying to watch the game. I am not being ill, hard to deal with or hateful, I'm being a football fan...a fan of the game that is actually going on.

I hate to bring this to a close, but I do feel that this is a pretty good starter list. Now, how does this relate to those women looking for men or those who are their to keep their men or out of sheer obligation - you are typically the ones who are committing the aforementioned crimes. Hey, it's who you are and we respect that, I just wanted to bring to the forefront what bothers those of us who are there to really watch the game.

I mean really...I'm Just Sayin'

Back By Popular Demand

Okay, Okay, I must admit that I have been rather slack at this attempt at blogging on a regular basis. Lately however, many people have been requesting a new blog post from yours truly. Of course, so many people literally begging for me to let my opinions fly posed great thought on my behalf as to what I could possibly post about on my second attempt at being a great, consistent blogger.

As I began to contemplate my "Great return to blogging," many topics came to mind, and I am listing my TOP 10 below.

1. Top 10-20 things that I STRONGLY dislike
2. Why I am not personally having children but will discipline yours
3. Winter is fashion heaven for pretty plus women
4. Women who fake their love for football just to get a man or keep one
5. Why lots of people ask me to blog yet I only have 4 followers
6. Online shopping...what people buy when nobody is looking
7. My daily commute...am I the ONLY person who knows how to drive?
8. What is your current addiction? I think I'm addicted to new addictions.
9. Do I look like I work at Wal-Mart, Target or anywhere else for that matter? No, then I surely don't know what is on Aisle 5.
10. Please, please don't ask my opinion if you do not want it.

Okay little blogees...let me know which post I shall go for first. I think I will try to tackle one each week, or 2 on weeks where I feel extremely froggy or opinionated.

A Little Fun In The Sun....still out of REACH!

Let's go ahead and call Spring Break a tease in every sense of the word. I enjoyed it, don't get me wrong, but it gave me such a small taste of summer that I am lefting not only wanting more but demanding it. The beach was amazing, what's not to like about the smell of the ocean, sand between my toes and sun beating down on my pretty plus bod? I mean it's an amazing experience in and of itself. I could live at the beach and never do anything but go on the beach, but alas I must teach children on the daily.

As I entered back into school last Monday dreading it at all costs just because I would have rather still been at the beach, I had convinced myself that the beach desires would be fleeting and I would be back focused on school in no time. Well, as we all know I'm a jokester and apparently was joking to myself. Since then, all that I can think about is summer time rolling in so I can throw caution to the wind.

Summer is more than just the beach, but summer is no alarm clocks, no school work to bring home and do all night, no children calling your name 30,000 times a day...but it is a break for me to rejuvinate in order to give it all back to my children when I get there in August. I firmly believe that each minute that I am at school my thoughts are drifting away to SSB and the salt, sand, sun, water...it's just an amazing vision. Hopefully the summer won't come too slowly, but it is still out of REACH!

I'm a Copy Cat

So, this is my first official blog and I'm pretty excited about it. I must confess that I am indeed a copycat. I saw my pal Kristi A blogging, read her logic and realized this might just be therapeutic for myself as well. As you all know, I do enjoy clearing my mind regardless of who is listening or if you like it or not...this may be safer. Let's see where this leads...