To many, that is not a major risk. You may get in, you may not. If you don't, it's not meant to be or maybe try at another time or even another school/program. Nah, that's not who I am. I set goals and make plans, very precise plans with little to no wiggle room because who makes vague goals/plans? Regardless, was this really that big of a deal? To me, it was an incredibly huge deal.
As with anything in life, timing is everything. I struggle with this as I constantly question myself as to if things are happening at the right time, or if it is the right time to try or just timing in general. Okay, maybe you are realizing I'm a tad OCD and an overthinker and you are right. Anyway, timing...why now, am I sure now is the right time? Ugh... those thoughts continued until I began to think, why not now?
I ran across a quote I wrote down in 2016 when reading The Book Thief.
And it would show me, once again, that one opportunity leads directly to another, just as risk leads to more risk, life to more life, and death to more death.
A rollercoaster ride if you will. You have ups, you have downs. You have opportunities, you have set backs. You have life and you have death.
Different people take part in your rollercoaster ride for different purposes. Some have to encourage you to get on the ride at all, some ride alongside of you, and some ask at the end, "What in the world were we thinking?" The people that are part of your ride are your people. As I think about my people, many are not even here now to watch me on this part of my ride, but they would also encourage me to risk it, put myself out there to see if this would be part of my ride right now.
After submitting the application, it felt like years went by before I heard anything. I was on that uphill part of the rollercoaster where you can hear all of those creepy clicking sounds and just pray that nothing malfunctions as you climb to a pinnacle and the point of no return. I was becoming impatient. I had talked myself out of the entire thing and just knew that it was not the right time or meant to be for me at that time. Then some more of my people held my hand and assured me that things would indeed work out. Sort of like making sure my hands and feet were inside the ride at all times and that I did not jump out. You know those people? The people who always know what is best for you but also know you can be a little crazy and irrational at times? Yeah. Them. They are the ones who are always there at that part of the ride. Thank. God.
After several more days, the information came that I had been accepted. I was more than thrilled. I was ecstatic. Elated. Pumped. Jumping up and down. It was that part of the ride where you smile at the camera so you can see at the very end that it was all worth it, and at that very point, you knew it would be and were caught up in the moment of everything happy and joyful.
I'm now just riding along in the process. Some ups and downs, twists and turns and the people encouraging me all the way along. It is going to be a LONG process, and one where I am sure I will question numerous decisions I make, but it will be a worthwhile ride. I know I will have to be talked with to stay the course, just like when you are wanting to get off of that rollercoaster or when you even want to hurl. Each of these experiences are what make the ride and the people even more important.
Your ride is your ride, risks and all. Your people are your people, in both the good and the bad.
Life is a constant rollercoaster ride that leaves all of us with different emotions at various points througout the ride, but in the end, we are all glad that it is one ride we were on.
